5 Years in Marriage- 5 Important Lessons As Told By My Husband
A surprise proposal, engagement photo shoots, a fun and wild bachelorette/bachelor party, an extravagant wedding, emotional vows: these are all the exciting parts about getting married. Then your marriage begins and you learn there’s way more to this thing than wedding rings, Instagram photos and cute captions. Just like any relationship that matters, a relationship between husband and wife takes a lot of work. This isn’t because loving someone is hard, but because when two people essentially become ONE, there’s a lot of evolving, growing and stretching that happens in that process.
My husband and I are celebrating FIVE years of marriage today and I’m grateful that I can say that with genuine excitement. We’ve been through quite a bit in these short, but long five years. There’s been a lot of learning and unlearning behaviors and habits. There have been rainbows after quite a few storms. We aren’t perfect, but we are both committed to keeping this thing called love and marriage going.
Now, I know it’s typical to give out lessons I’ve learned in marriage, but I wanted to switch it up and share some views from my husband. But first, have a look at my everyday eye candy! Sheesh!
Now, here are five lessons learned in marriage as told by Mike.
Be patient and assess a situation before exploding.
Whenever something happens that stirs up anger or confusion, it’s easy to lash out. It’s better to take a moment, look at a whole situation, then communicate any concerns. It’s better to have a conversation than to just start an argument.
It’s better to communicate than keep things bottled in.
This lesson is for me (Britt)! My automatic defense to something that makes me angry or upset is to withdraw. I won’t talk unless absolutely necessary. I will intentionally move around the house so that I don’t have to interact. THIS IS BAD! Prolonging a necessary conversation doesn’t change the fact that it’s necessary, no matter who has to initiate the first “I’m sorry.”
It seems like a simple concept but it’s easily missed. Being a listening ear, whether it’s a venting session, discussing dreams and goals, or even during an argument. Pay attention to what’s being said. Don’t just zone out or immediately prepare a rebuttal. Pay attention. Listen.
Try to understand different perspectives.
No matter how much you may have in common, there’s always going to be different opinions and ideas on the way things should be done or even different recollections of events. You have to at least TRY to see things from another point of view, even if you don’t agree with it.
Continue to be yourself.
When you get married, two become one. Although that does involve doing many things together and making decisions together, that doesn’t mean you become same people, with the same ideas, same opinions, same likes, same dreams or same habits. There are just some things that make you, YOU. Its beautiful when you can just be yourself with your spouse. It’s absolutley possible to embrace your individuality AND love and support each other.
There’s so much we are still learning, especially with our precious baby Mariah all in the mix now! Here’s to another five years of growing and learning together!